As I turn 24, I don't have any fears of "getting certain things done before a certain age", but my current situation does call for action on my part. What has set things in motion is that my brother has officially decided to move back home once our lease is up on December 3rd. The only thing that will keep him here is if a great job lands in his lap, and since jobs don't land in people's laps too often, I must face the inevitable: I'm on my own come December 3rd.
The brutal facts about my situation are this:
- I can't afford to live alone out here, it's just too expensive.
- I need to find a roommate that I can trust
- I need to find another apartment
I've thought a lot about what's going to happen if/when I can't find another roommate and an inexpensive place to live. The reality is that I would probably go from friend to friend's apartments and live off of them until a situation presents itself or possibly have to live out my car. You hear stories all about how actors lived out of their cars and went through hell (living-wise) until they made their big break. That's all good and fine, but I don't want to be that person. I don't want to subject myself to living out of my car or bumming off people day in and day out.
The fact of the matter is that, if I don't find a place to live and a person to live with, then I will most likely move back to the Midwest.
Moving back has always been in the back of my mind, solely for the purpose of "If things didn't work out here". In my heart I know that I want and need to be in LA pursuing my dream, but I also know that there comes a time in everyone's life when they need to put their own happiness ahead of certain desires and goals. Now I'm not smart or selfish enough to know just what that means for me, but I do know this: I miss my family and friends like crazy. I also really miss the Midwest and all things that come with it. Ever since I became an actor I always knew that what I wanted out of life was "To act for a living and support a family of my own". I've always known that if I can do that, I will be content in life. Now what that means, I'm not quite sure. I know that I want to do film acting, but I also know that life throws you curves and you have to deal with them.
Another philosophy I've always tried to live by is "I want to walk the path that God wants, not what I want." This is obviously easier said than done, and also hard to decipher what exactly it is that God wants for me. With that being said, I do know that when he reveals it to me, I will follow. If that means I am to stay here, so be it. But if it means for me to move back home, then I will oblige. I've always thought about moving back and how it would affect me. I don't want to get ahead of myself (especially since I don't know what can happen between now and December), but if I move back, I will make the most of my situation and from living in LA, and turn the page. I might live with my family for a bit, possibly move to Chicago, pursue more theatre and the smaller market of film/TV/commercial work there as well. And maybe I could move back to LA at a later date...
When it's all said and done, I have less than 3 months until my life drastically changes one way or another. I have decided to do less auditioning/acting and focus on working as much as possible so that I can save up money for when the lease is up. No decisions have to be made right now, and I like to think that the decision will be made for me, depending on my situation.
Movie Reviews of the Day:
A Few Good Men - 4.5 stars
Top Gun - 4 stars
The Wild One - 4 stars
Righteous Kill - 4 stars
Matrix Revolutions - 4 stars
Burn After Reading - 4.5 stars
Out of Africa - 5 stars
Appaloosa - 4.5 stars
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