Officially a Chicagoan.

I've been living in Chicago for about 2 months now and I feel like I can finally call myself a Chicagoan. I know my way around, I have a home, a job, and am looking into the acting scene. To make sure this blog entry doesn't end up being 300 pages long, I'll try and keep things concise.

The four of us looked at different neighborhoods before moving here and liked a few. While walking through Roscoe Village, we happened upon a small rental property place. We walked in, talked to a nice woman and told her what we were looking for. As luck would have it, she said she had "the perfect place". Indeed, it was perfect, but we wanted to look at a few more just in case. After looking at about 15 different apartments around the north side, we decided that the first place was the best and we seized the opportunity.

We got a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom place that is completely rehabbed to the studs. It's all hardwood flooring, new appliances, marble countertops, central air and heat, a deck of our own, etc. We've since gone through a few hitches here and there, but it's now fully furnished with our stuff and as we would like it. The apartment is in Rogers Park, which is the farthest North and East neighborhood of Chicago before you go into the suburbs. It's one of the most diverse neighborhoods in Chicago, is less claustrophobic than others, and is right on the lake with accessible beaches. We also live a half block from "The El" which makes transportation really simple. Right down the street is also an Irish Pub, Wine Shop, Italian Restaurant, and Bagel/Deli. Needless to say, it was a perfect fit for us and I'm glad it turned out the way it did. The only downside is that it takes awhile to get to downtown, but then again 40-45 minutes isn't that long.

For the first month and a half we all were looking for jobs round the clock. Kelly found one first at a pet grooming place as a receptionist. Ryan then got hired as a personal trainer at Bally. Then I was offered a position at Bakers Square and Whole Foods Market, while Carroll got a job at World Market. I ended up taking the job with Whole Foods instead of Bakers Square because it was easier to get to and has better benefits. It would have been nice to finally be a server, but Whole Foods was too good to pass up. I must also stress how difficult it was to get a job however. Carroll and I must have applied for easily over 200 jobs combined and finally got offers after a month and a half. In the end, I'm grateful to have a job in this tough economic time.

The job itself is actually quite taxing. I'm a cashier and it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. Mostly because it's a lot numbers and products to memorize and identify. It also makes it more difficult for me because I don't consider myself a "foodie". Therefore I'm learning a lot of fruits and vegetables that I've never even heard of. Then throw in that it's THE leading company for organic foods so the selection is quite eclectic. What's nice is that they pay is great, the company really takes care of its employees, my co-workers are really friendly, and they offer incredible benefits. To top it off, it's on the Fortune 500 top 100 companies to work for... now that's saying something!

Besides all that, I'm spending a lot of time watching movies, playing piano, writing music, reading, and slowly trying to get into the acting scene. Originally I was going to just focus on Film/Commercial work in Chicago, but I've recently come to the decision that it would be in my best interests to do any acting that is out there, rather than limit myself. Although I know that film is ultimately where I see myself, the need to act (period) is more important to me at this point. Therefore I'm gonna start auditioning for what I can and just see where it takes me.

Here's to Chicago, Acting, The Oscar Film Season, Christmas Music, and Snow!

Summer Fly, Bye

Well, summer has come and it has flown by so far. In terms of my life, nothing too drastic has happened, which explains why there hasn't been a blog entry in FOREVER.

Work is work, I'm just going through the motions at this point. I've always believed (for me) that in life jobs have a course that they run and I know when that time has come. I think that if I weren't moving to Chicago, I would now be hitting that plateau. It's not that the job is terrible (I actually enjoy it for the most part), it's just as time passes I slowly go insane for not being able to act.

THEREFORE, I've been filling my time with just that. Since I'll be moving to Chicago in mid-October, I figured I should be getting my ducks in a row as an actor. So, I went through tons of monologues from plays and have narrowed it down to 6 that I will start memorizing. On the flip side, I want to learn a few movie monologues as well. That way I will be able to hit the floor running. I know that Chicago will be a hurricane when I first get there, so I want to be as prepared as I can possibly be. In terms of the move, we plan on taking two trips down to Chicago and in that time hopefully be able to narrow it down to a neighborhood or two. Once that is done, it will just be a matter of finding "the one".

Besides the imminent move, life at home is kinda stressful. My older sister and her two kids have moved in with us. Her husband is moving down from Minnesota once he can find a job down here. The problem with this is that it adds a different dynamic to the house. It's a lot more hectic with two "mothers" and a 1-year-old and an autistic 8-year-old. Not to mention that I live in the "loft" of the house so that my younger brother could have his own room and my sister and nephews could live in the basement. This gets tiring VERY QUICKLY. The main problem is that I work nights which is the opposite from the rest of my family, and because of this I never get much sleep with my family up early. In the end, I'm just ready to get out of here and get "my life" going again. This time in my life definitely feels like a pit stop, and I feel the pit stop is becoming too long.

In my extra time I've been really getting into song writing again. I've written 80% of music for a song that I really like so far, and am slowly developing the last lyrics and writing the music on the piano. It truly feels like a song that works for me and once I'm finished I'll definitely have to record it. I've also been really dedicated to my workout routines since I've moved here and it is definitely showing. I'm in the greatest shape of my life and feel good about my body. Ideally I'd like to put on a few more pounds and tone the body a little more and I'll be at where I want to be.

And then in two and half months I'll be where I logistically want to be: Chicago.

Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

:)

Four's Company

Well, there has been a slight change in my plans for Chicago.

Fortunately, it is for the better.

:)

A few weeks back, a friend of mine emailed me and suggested that her and her boyfriend (also a good friend of mine) were looking into moving to Chicago. Originally they wanted to move to NYC. But since that was such a big jump for them, and a lot more expensive, they were think of alternate destinations. They are both actors and her boyfriend was looking into possibly accepting theatre work at other places across the Midwest. She knew that Carroll and I were moving to Chicago in the fall and asked on my thoughts of them possibly moving down with us. After talking to Carroll, and the two of them discussing it in detail, we were all in agreement: The four of us would be moving down together to Chicago.

There are many details up in the air such as location, apartment, jobs, and the exact moving date, but all in all I'm excited about the future for all of us. It will be a nice balance to have all four of us living together. Not only are we all good friends, but we are ALL actors. I think this will be a great support system for us all. Furthermore, we will be able to live in a bigger apartment and hopefully pay less in rent. Carroll and I have been looking at possible neighborhoods and we have narrowed it down to 7 that we like. Our two favorites that stand out are Lincoln Square and Ravenswood. The other five that we like that are affordable, have a good crime rate, and are interesting in general are Andersonville, Buena Park, Edgewater, Roscoe Village, and St. Ben's.

Carroll is coming to visit this coming weekend, which should be a lot of fun. I got off of work, and we will spend times, chilling, seeing the city, watching movies, and talk about Chicago more in detail. The plan is that in another month or two, I'll visit Eau Claire (where the other two live) and we can talk in a group as to our plans for the fall. All we know for sure is that we will be moving some time in the fall. I'd be open to moving down a little earlier or a little later than October (which is the original plan), but nothing too extreme as they both have their disadvantages. If we move TOO early it will give us less time to save up money. If we move TOO late, it will very difficult to find jobs closer to the holidays.

Other than looking to the future, the present isn't too shabby as well. At work I got to witness something that one only dreams of: a co-worker/boss getting fired because she was bad at her job and disrespected everyone around her. That's the good news. The bad news is that we are left picking up the slack since she was the assistant manager. I now work 6 days a week until he hires someone else, and it's been starting to take it's toll. The nice thing with having two days off a week is that you get to have one day to catch up on things, run errands, etc. and the other day is for some R&R. However, with only one day off there isn't much time to relax.


Besides that, I recently got to go to the Cubs-Brewers game with my Dad on Easter. It was a great game, the Cubs won, and I couldn't have asked for more. The Cubs are doing well this year (as expected) and the Bulls are also in the playoffs. Also, the Bears traded for star quarterback Jay Cutler, so it's safe to say it's good to be a Chicago Sports Fan right now.


Peace Out Playa.

Goodbye LA... for now.

Well, it's been a LONG transition since I moved back to the Midwest this past November.

My brother and I moved in with my family who's new home is in Pewaukee, WI which is a western suburb of Milwaukee. We took a good month to wind down from the craziness of the move, spent time with family for the Holidays and started searching for a job shortly after. While I job searched, I spent most of my time cleaning/fixing up the new home (which still is FAR from being done). It took me much longer than I anticipated (doesn't it always?) to find a job, but I finally found one at a gas station pretty close to our home. It pays crap, but it makes up for it by giving me full time, which is real nice.

When I made the decision to move back the Midwest, I knew it wasn't Wisconsin that I'd make my final destination. I still am completely committed to being a film actor and therefore Wisconsin just won't cut it. HOWEVER, before I can make another big move, I need to save up money and resources which led me to my current job. The plan as of now is that in the fall after my sister's wedding, which will be sometime in October, my friend Carroll and I will be moving down to Chicago. It's the next best place in my mind if I'm not going to be in LA. It's still a great acting city and I'm really looking forward to moving there. Speaking of which... I'm a big follower of Roger Ebert's website and I recently posted on his blog and to my surprise... he commented back!!! Here's what went down:

Dear Roger,

As I look through the different sites such as Facebook and MySpace there is an area for "Heroes". I for one, say that you are one of mine. Your passion for the majesty of film is so very apparent in the words that you write in your reviews. Unfortunately, since I am merely at the age of 24, I didn't get to see much of Siskel, but I do see that IN YOU it's easy to tell what kind of a wonderful man he was.

Thank you, and I leave you with 2 questions: 1. Who are YOUR heroes? and 2. I'm moving to Chicago in the fall. As an actor, what area(s) would you suggest living in?

Ebert: Malkovich told me: "In New York, actors go to auditions. In Chicago, they go to work. The NYTimes and WSJournal have both called Chicago the best theater town in America.

Where to live? Your first home should be temporary, while you get the lay of the land. Look for a place near the elevated tracks. Some less-expensive areas fairly close in are Rogers Park, Wicker Park, Bucktown, certain parts of Lincoln Park. As you meet other actors, ask them where they live. Maybe email a few theaters, like Organic, Wisdom Bridge, Body Politic. The DePaul theater school might have advice. Also Columbia College of Chicago.

Now I don't know about you, but if an idol of yours responded PERSONALLY I think you'd realize how big of a deal this was to me. Anywho...

Now that I'm going through the motions of working 40 hours a week and I have no friends in the area, I've had to find other ways to occupy my time. I've taken up learning Japanese, which is VERY challenging, but also very rewarding. It's a real slow proccess, but I really enjoy it. So far I've just finished learning Hiragana (one of Japanese's 3 character sets) and I'm using the computer program Rosetta Stone to supplement my learning. When I was younger I took French Immersion in school, when I got older I took Spanish in high school and college, but neither really interested me much. Japanese, however, I've always been fond of. I love the country, the culture, I'm a huge fan of anime, and I've had relatives that lived there for many years. So far so good, and I look forward to learning more.

Besides Japanese, I've recently taken up learning piano again. I took a piano class in college before I graduated and it's a skill I've always wanted to have and will also be a great tool for me to have as an actor/singer. I went online to Amazon and found a great deal on a keyboard, and I practice every once and awhile. It's also very rewarding, but SUPER frustrating when two hands are playing at once.

Other than that I recently joined Netflix which I absolulely LOVE. It's like being part of a special club and I have just about every movie ever made at my fingertips. It's a great deal and it has helped me catch up to films I've been meaning to watch over the years. On the subject of films, over the past few years I've been reviewing movies as a hobby of mine. Over time, I've found that I really enjoy it, and when I put the time in, I think I can write a pretty concise, and to-the-point review. I've been doing on Facebook this whole time, but I've recently wanted to branch out and have a page of my own just devoted to film reviews. Over the past two years I've reviewed EVERY movie I've seen in that time (which has to be over 200). Recently I've realized that I don't have the time/energy to keep up with this pace so I've decided to just review new films that I've seen in the theatre. Therefore, I just started another blogspot just for my film reviews which can be found here: http://liketheyusedto.blogspot.com/ I decided that I'm going to use a 4 star scale, only because it's the most used across the board from film critics. On facebook I've just been writing "as is" without a format per se, but I will start fledging them out more and make them as professional as I can make them. Eventually, I'd like to have my own website just devoted to film reviews that can catlogue them all in one database a la Roger Ebert. Until then, this will be a good place for me to get them down in one place.

Other than that, my life is pretty dull. Like LA, my social life is nil. But to make up for that I'm filling it with hobbies and interests that I believe will benefit me as a person and as an actor. I also have my family around which is really nice. Besides that I've been thinking heavily about my acting career and where I go from here. The plan is to move to Chicago and get involved in acting as much as possible. It's so much more accessible than LA and I think this will be a good thing for me. I want to dive right in, and do whatever acting I can. It will be nice to live with a good friend and in a city that I love. Beyond that I can't forsee. And I think that's as it should be. An actor's life is never predictable and I've come to accept that. I have a feeling that if things go as they should that I will most likely end up in LA some time in the future, but for now, my life is HERE. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'll leave you with my top 10 films of 2008.

10. Quantum of Solace
9. Appaloosa
8. Slumdog Millionaire
7. The Dark Knight
6. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
5. Doubt
4. The Reader
3. Australia
2. In Bruges
1. WALL-E

"Bounce"

Here's the music video I shot for the The Cab. The song is called "Bounce" and it aired on TRL on October 30. Look for me at :05, :54, 1:04, 1:58, 2:03, and finally at 2:52 when I get splattered with red paint!

A New Date And Song

Well, It looks like I'll be moving back sooner than I expected.

My Dad called me the other day and tells me that he could really use the help from my brother and I on moving in to their new house in Pewaukee, WI. He asks me if it would be possible to move out there before our lease was up, and I told him we would prob have to pay more on the lease, and that I would check with out landlord. My landlord said it would be fine, we would just have to pay through the end of the lease and we could leave as soon as a month before our lease is up. I relayed this to my father and he said that he would send us some money to help pay for some of it. So, my brother and I put in our two weeks at our jobs and we plan on heading East on Wed, November 12!

The main challenges of moving so soon is that we need to get rid of our stuff, since we can't take most of it with us. So, we plan on donating most of it to Goodwill, and selling our mini-fridge and my mattress if possible. The real challenge is going to be selling my car in two weeks. We don't want to drive two cars over 2000 miles for two reasons: 1. It will be a boring trip driving alone, and 2. It would cost double the amount in gas. Therefore, I put my car on facebook and craigslist and I also put up flyers in town where possible. The problem with a city like LA is that practically NOWHERE lets you put up flyers. Not grocery stores, convenience stores, or even the library! So I put some up at my work, one Filipino grocer, and a laundromat.

I can definitely feel a sense of urgency and excitement knowing that i'm moving back in two weeks. My outlook looks brighter, and overall I'm in a much better mood. It was hard telling some co-workers that I'm leaving, but I know that it's for the better and there are good things to come.

*************

A couple months ago, when I was weighing my options and contemplating whether I should move back or not, I had an interesting experience. It was almost 1 am and I was driving home from working at Hollywood Video and I stopped at a stop sign that I've stopped at many times before. But that particular night I waited. I was so out of it that I was waiting as if I was at a stop light and waiting for it to turn green. I snapped out of it, had a little laugh and continued home.

The reason why this is relevant is because I started writing a song in the journal my brother got me for my birthday. I started writing it a few weeks ago, and lost track when I needed to write the bridge and finish the song, but finally last night at 1am I finished writing it. From the beginning I new what I wanted to call it, I just had to write the lyrics. Now it must be stated that I've never written a song in my life. Never. The desire had never arisen and I didn't think to write one until now. I also don't know how most people write their songs, but I took my own approach, and I'm happy with how it turned out. As I was writing the beginning verse of the song I couldn't help but create the tune along with it as I went. By the time I was done with the song, I knew that I was satisfied, and here is the finished product:

Waiting for the stop sign (to turn green)

You close your eyes and count to ten

Hoping that all of this soon will end

The problem with this approach is that it's wrong

Like a man and his alarm, you'll never get along

You're just waiting for the stop sign to turn green

Waiting for the moment you're forced to intervene

Strapped in for the ride, no fleeing from the scene

Yet you're waiting for the stop sign to turn green

Your mind is fried, nowhere to go

Your thoughts run wild, by now you know

Decisions don't get made all on their own

What's required of you's a choice, of yours and yours alone

Yet you're waiting for the stop sign to turn green

Waiting for the moment you're forced to intervene

Strapped in for the ride, no fleeing from the scene

Yet you're waiting for the stop sign to turn green

Life is a choice, after choice and choice and choice

Will you raise your voice, your voice?

And make some noise and noise and noise?

(with bridge)

No more waiting for the stop sign to turn green
Now is the moment, it's time to intervene
Strapped in for the ride, no fleeing from the scene
No more waiting for the stop sign to turn green

No more waiting for the stop sign to turn green

No more waiting for the stop sign to turn green

Cuz at the the end of the day, stop signs don't turn green

Movie Reviews of the Day:

High School Musical 3 - 4 stars

Aladdin - 5 stars

The Decision To Move

Last month on my birthday my brother Seth got me a few items, one of them being a paper journal to do with it what I please. As time went on, I never had the urge to pick it up and write anything let alone know what I was going to write. As the days went on, I started thinking more and more about the possibility of moving back to the Midwest. My brother had decided to move back, and the guy I was going to get an apartment with ended up flaking out on me and moving back to his hometown. I tried going on craiglist and facebook, but every place I found was too expensive. I prayed about the possiblity of moving daily, and it started weighing on my mind day in and day out. It kept me up at night and I didn't know what I should do.

12 days ago I was up late and an episode of Frasier came on TV. In the episode Frasier and his brother Niles are at the coffee shop and are trying to find an open table the entire episode, but every time they find one, someone beats them to it. They finally settle on sitting outside on the patio. Once there, Niles opens up their discussion by asking Frasier "Are you happy?". Frasier is taken aback a bit by this question and contemplates his response. Throughout the rest of the episode every time he tries to answer he gets interrupted by someone else, whether it be his father, their maid Daphne, or the waitress who keeps bringing his latte back to him repeatedly because Frasier says there is something "wrong with it" each time. He finally gets the opportunity to answer his brother, but the rain comes pouring down on them. They rush inside, Frasier becomes more irritated, and their father appears again this time pretending to be blind to guarantee them a table. As the sit down, they realize something is wrong with their father. They finally convince him to tell them why. He goes on to tell them that it was his birthday last week (which they had obviously forgotten). The instantly apologize and tell him that they are all going to go out to dinner and celebrate. As they all go to leave Niles says he will take Daphne and their father and they head out the door first. Before Frasier has a chance to get up, the waitress returns for the umteenth time stating all the changes she made to his latte to please him and asks him "Are You Happy?". Frasier pauses takes it all in, and says (mostly to himself), "You know, in the grand scheme of things... Yes I Am."

The show faded to black, I grabbed my journal, pen, and began writing:

There comes a point in every person's life when they must ask themselves if they are happy. When I think about what makes me happy, it always comes down to the simple things: family, friends, acting, random acts of kindness, and the LORD. Then I think about the things that are lacking in my life: money, a successful acting career, and a love of my OWN. People always ask, "What's the meaning of life?" I think the correct answer and response is "Heaven only knows". As we struggle to find our own meaning of these words, I truly think it comes down to happiness. As an actor, I struggle heavily with balancing a self-driven and challenging career pathway and at the same time trying to lead a "normal life", whatever that means... Moving to L.A. was a choice I made based on an opportunity presented to me. Having moved so often in my youth, making a jump to somewhere like L.A. wasn't a bid deal to me. I made adjustments and made it work. Having lived here for over 10 months now, I've seen enough to know what L.A. has in store for me if I were to stay here. At the end of the day, L.A. has one thing that I desire: the film industry. As I examine my life at 24, living in L.A. as an aspiring actor, I ask myself the simple question, "Am I Happy?" and the answer is "No." I think that I now realize that if someone answers with a "no" then they need to make a change in their life. I my case, I think it is to move back home to the Midwest. With this decision in grasp I must make sure that I don't fall into the trap of "settling"in life. I know that to the core, that is something I think that most people do in life, but it's not for me. I do think that life is what you make of it and that if I am to be happy I must keep it simple and take life one day at a time. I think that it's also good to remember that whenever I feel "down and out", that someone somewhere has it much harder than I do. I think that if we keep reminding ourselves this, we realize how insignificiant our problems are and that our blessings FAR outweigh our troubles. There is so much to be thankful for. So much that we needn't worry about the little things in life. Keep it simple, keep the faith, and when you can say you're truly happy, you'll know that it was all worth it.

At the end of the day, it came down to one thing for me: I'm not happy living in L.A. First, I don't like the people. Everyone here is so self-oriented and it's all about me, me, me! It gets old, and it's not a very nice social environment. Because of much of this, I don't have much of a social life at all. I've lived here for almost a year and don't really go out at all. A lot of it is because "going out" in LA means clubbing, etc. and that' just not for me. Being trapped in my apartment day in and day out and going out occasionally with my brother to see a film or grab some dinner really takes a toll on you . Second, I really hate the weather here. You wake up everyday knowing that it will warm and sunny every day of the year. It never so much as rains here, and I really miss having four season, especially winter and it's snow. Thirdly, and most importantly, I miss my friends and most of all Family. Living out here, I don't know how long it will take to get my big break. It could take 5, 10, 15 years and at that rate I would only get to see my family once a year because of the travel costs. My family means a lot to me and I don't like the idea of seeing them so infrequently. You never know how long you have with your parents and I want to spend as much time with them as I can.

I know that moving back will bring many challenges with it, but I know that I'd rather be in an environment that makes me happy and is conducive to my art. I also realize that things happen for a reason. I had no real intention of moving out here after college. But when the opportunity presented itself, I jumped at it. I think I've learned many things about myself, the world, and what I want out of life from living here, and that the next move for me is to head back to the Midwest. My short term plan is to move in with my family who just bought a house in Pewaukee, WI just outside of Milwaukee. I'll take some time off when I get there to visit friends and family in the Midwest and then get a job and go from there. I think that I will most likely make a move to Chicago and have the best of both worlds there. I can pursue film, tv, commercial, and theatre work there. Obviously the film/tv opportunities are nothing compared to Hollywood, but at least there are more options for different types of acting there. There is definitely a part of me that feels guilty for moving back after making such a sacrifice to move out here, but at the end of the day, every person has there priorities, and mine are taking me back to the Midwest on December 7th.

Movie Reviews of the Day:
The Duchess - 4 stars
Edward Scissorhands - 4.5 stars
Body of Lies - 4.5 stars
W. - 4.5 stars

There Will Be Blood

Here's the student film I did through the LA Film School. There are two cuts. First the rough draft, second the finished product:

Crossroads... on my birthday

Today is my birthday and I thought "What better day to blog than on your birthday?".

As I turn 24, I don't have any fears of "getting certain things done before a certain age", but my current situation does call for action on my part. What has set things in motion is that my brother has officially decided to move back home once our lease is up on December 3rd. The only thing that will keep him here is if a great job lands in his lap, and since jobs don't land in people's laps too often, I must face the inevitable: I'm on my own come December 3rd.

The brutal facts about my situation are this:

• I can't afford to live alone out here, it's just too expensive.
• I need to find a roommate that I can trust
• I need to find another apartment

I've thought a lot about what's going to happen if/when I can't find another roommate and an inexpensive place to live. The reality is that I would probably go from friend to friend's apartments and live off of them until a situation presents itself or possibly have to live out my car. You hear stories all about how actors lived out of their cars and went through hell (living-wise) until they made their big break. That's all good and fine, but I don't want to be that person. I don't want to subject myself to living out of my car or bumming off people day in and day out.

The fact of the matter is that, if I don't find a place to live and a person to live with, then I will most likely move back to the Midwest.

Moving back has always been in the back of my mind, solely for the purpose of "If things didn't work out here". In my heart I know that I want and need to be in LA pursuing my dream, but I also know that there comes a time in everyone's life when they need to put their own happiness ahead of certain desires and goals. Now I'm not smart or selfish enough to know just what that means for me, but I do know this: I miss my family and friends like crazy. I also really miss the Midwest and all things that come with it. Ever since I became an actor I always knew that what I wanted out of life was "To act for a living and support a family of my own". I've always known that if I can do that, I will be content in life. Now what that means, I'm not quite sure. I know that I want to do film acting, but I also know that life throws you curves and you have to deal with them.

Another philosophy I've always tried to live by is "I want to walk the path that God wants, not what I want." This is obviously easier said than done, and also hard to decipher what exactly it is that God wants for me. With that being said, I do know that when he reveals it to me, I will follow. If that means I am to stay here, so be it. But if it means for me to move back home, then I will oblige. I've always thought about moving back and how it would affect me. I don't want to get ahead of myself (especially since I don't know what can happen between now and December), but if I move back, I will make the most of my situation and from living in LA, and turn the page. I might live with my family for a bit, possibly move to Chicago, pursue more theatre and the smaller market of film/TV/commercial work there as well. And maybe I could move back to LA at a later date...

When it's all said and done, I have less than 3 months until my life drastically changes one way or another. I have decided to do less auditioning/acting and focus on working as much as possible so that I can save up money for when the lease is up. No decisions have to be made right now, and I like to think that the decision will be made for me, depending on my situation.

Movie Reviews of the Day:

A Few Good Men - 4.5 stars

Top Gun - 4 stars

The Wild One - 4 stars

Righteous Kill - 4 stars

Matrix Revolutions - 4 stars

Burn After Reading - 4.5 stars

Out of Africa - 5 stars

Appaloosa - 4.5 stars

The Waiting Game

I think every person goes through a dry spell now and then... and it just so happens that mine is now.

There's not to much going on in my life right now. I'm kind of in a limbo. I haven't had an audition or shot something since the Cab music video. I've been submitting to a lot of things, but I just haven't been chosen to audition. I know that this time of year is the "down time" of Hollywood, but it would still be nice to be doing something other than working and chillin' at home. When not much is going on, my mind wanders, I miss my family and friends, and the loneliness settles in. It's times like these when I feel like I should be outsourcing my thoughts into something more creative such as a song or poem... Who knows, maybe I'll put pen to paper one of these days.

One thing that IS new is that I got promoted at Hollywood Video. It's obviously not a big deal, but I'll be a shift manager there now, with a little more pay and responsibility. Usually this would be something to be a little excited about, but when my mind is set on a film career and not climbing the Hollwood Video ladder I find it hard to jump for joy. Besides that, one of my good friends Carly is visiting from MN tomorrow and I'll get to spend the day with her. I always like it when friends are in town for obvious reasons. It's good to have home brought to me every once in awhile rather than the other way around. Hopefully I can just get out of the apartment for a change and do something fun.

Speaking of not getting out of the aparment... I don't have much of a social life. Ok, so it's non-existent. I can't be too hard on myself since I do work two jobs and I don't have much free time on the weekends. My "going out" consists of seeing a movie in the theatres every couple weeks with my brother. The rest of my downtime is spent in the apartment reading, watching the Cubs, playing video games, and watching movies. It would be nice to go out with friends and just socialize once in awhile, but I don't know many people and it's expensive going out. It's expensive enough just trying to "get by" out here. And if I'm not going out, I feel like I should be doing more to jumpstart my career. This is most evident when I watch the "making of's" after each movie I watch. It's so inspiring, motivating, and intimidating at the same time. I always hear about the way to succeed is not because you're the most talented, but because you're the most persistent. I always feel like I could be doing more, but it's hard when I'm waiting for my hair to grow out. As sad as it sounds, a lot of it rests on my hair. Once it's at the length I want, I can FINALLY get new head shots, sumbit with more current photos to projects, and go out and get an agent. I know that once this happens, I can "get myself" out there more. Until then, it's just a waiting game.

It doesn't help that my brother still hasn't decided whether he wants to move back or not, especially since our lease is up in less than 3 months...

Movie Reviews of the Day:
Once Upon A Time In Mexico - 4 stars
Vanilla Sky - 4.5 Stars
Jumper - 3 stars
Rent - 4.5 stars